Thursday, May 3, 2012
What a cry baby I am
Well... today I received the blow I was hoping wouldn't come. I've told you that I've been having shoulder issues and I finally went to the doctor a couple of months ago to deal with it. He took x ray's and said my rotator cuff looked good and prescribed 6 (expensive)weeks of physical therapy....with little or NO improvement. So Tuesday I had a MRI on my shoulder ...then went to the dermatologist an hour later and had 2 Moh's surgeries done on the same shoulder ( 1 was shallow ...the other took 4 times) of cutting out tissue to get rid of Squeamous (?) celled skin cancer. It hurts... but that's not what I'm going to die from. Now today, Thursday, I go back to see the orthopedic surgeon for the results of my MRI and he say's I have: Type 1 Superior labrum anterior to Posterior (SLAP) tear. Full thickness Supraspinatus Tear and Full thickness Infrasinatus Tear. I need surgery, some will be open and some laproscopic. It is out patient ......BUT....here's what REALLY SUCKS....6 week NO nothing....6 month PT restoring partial use and 1 year for full recovery , if there are no issues. He looked at the 2 stitched up spots on the back of my shoulder and told me he couldn't do anything until they healed because of the risk of infection in an open wound at the surgery site. I had to go sit in my car and cry................NO FAIR!! I've tried sooooo hard to lose this weight and swimming is my answer. If you have followed me you might remember that I have really bad feet and knee's and was told at one point that I would be in a wheel chair within 5 years.......But NO I took up swimming 13 years ago and have lost 60 pounds. It's the best thing that I have done for myself. Now this.........Oh Please!!!! To throw a few more wrenches into everything ...my husbands company is on the edge of going under in the next few weeks and then we will forced into COBRA along with all the other Sh***T that goes along with it. If you look at my calendar the next couple of months are booked with wedding's, babysitting Gunnar, bringing DS2 home from college with most of his stuff and the list goes on and on. NO FAIR! The doctor say's the sooner the better, because your muscle starts turning to fat with out use and it makes it harder to heal. So here I sit......you know what I did first thing? Went and bought a candy bar on the way out of the doctors office and sat in the car eating it while I was crying......pathetic! I've not really lost any weight for almost a year and go up and down between 1 and 3 pounds. Not bad ...but would still like to lose another 25 pounds. I'm worried about NO activity for sooo long. I'm not really a sit down person. He said I would still be able to work after a week or two. Jewelry being the heaviest thing I can pick up for 6 weeks.... CRAZY....I just keep thinking of more SH**T! Everything I read on line about this say's swimming might not be an option any more. I think I'll stop this pity party now... Thanks for listening!