Thursday, May 3, 2012

What a cry baby I am

Well... today I received the blow I was hoping wouldn't come. I've told you that I've been having shoulder issues and I finally went to the doctor a couple of months ago to deal with it. He took x ray's and said my rotator cuff looked good and prescribed 6 (expensive)weeks of physical therapy....with little or NO improvement. So Tuesday I had a MRI on my shoulder ...then went to the dermatologist an hour later and had 2 Moh's surgeries done on the same shoulder ( 1 was shallow ...the other took 4 times) of cutting out tissue to get rid of Squeamous (?) celled skin cancer. It hurts... but that's not what I'm going to die from. Now today, Thursday, I go back to see the orthopedic surgeon for the results of my MRI and he say's I have: Type 1 Superior labrum anterior to Posterior (SLAP) tear. Full thickness Supraspinatus Tear and Full thickness Infrasinatus Tear. I need surgery, some will be open and some laproscopic. It is out patient ......BUT....here's what REALLY SUCKS....6 week NO nothing....6 month PT restoring partial use and 1 year for full recovery , if there are no issues. He looked at the 2 stitched up spots on the back of my shoulder and told me he couldn't do anything until they healed because of the risk of infection in an open wound at the surgery site. I had to go sit in my car and cry................NO FAIR!! I've tried sooooo hard to lose this weight and swimming is my answer. If you have followed me you might remember that I have really bad feet and knee's and was told at one point that I would be in a wheel chair within 5 years.......But NO I took up swimming 13 years ago and have lost 60 pounds. It's the best thing that I have done for myself. Now this.........Oh Please!!!! To throw a few more wrenches into everything ...my husbands company is on the edge of going under in the next few weeks and then we will forced into COBRA along with all the other Sh***T that goes along with it. If you look at my calendar the next couple of months are booked with wedding's, babysitting Gunnar, bringing DS2 home from college with most of his stuff and the list goes on and on. NO FAIR! The doctor say's the sooner the better, because your muscle starts turning to fat with out use and it makes it harder to heal. So here I sit......you know what I did first thing? Went and bought a candy bar on the way out of the doctors office and sat in the car eating it while I was crying......pathetic! I've not really lost any weight for almost a year and go up and down between 1 and 3 pounds. Not bad ...but would still like to lose another 25 pounds. I'm worried about NO activity for sooo long. I'm not really a sit down person. He said I would still be able to work after a week or two. Jewelry being the heaviest thing I can pick up for 6 weeks.... CRAZY....I just keep thinking of more SH**T! Everything I read on line about this say's swimming might not be an option any more. I think I'll stop this pity party now... Thanks for listening!

8 comments:

Jen said...

Oh, hon...I'm so sorry you have to face this. How utterly frustrating. We are always here to listen.

Kristin50 said...

I am so sorry to hear this struggle you are facing. I will tell you this, I know you are a strong woman you have been through so much already! This will NOT keep you down.

I believe that you will be able to swim again, please do not give up hope of that. I know how awesome swimming is for you, as you know I began doing it as well! It is a fabulous work out.

Rather than worry about your weight right now you have to concentrate on getting well. While doing that just keep doing all of the things you have to maintain your weight, the band will help you keep everything in check. Yes no swimming will be a bad thing, but you have to do what your body will allow.

We are here for you as Jen states and always willing to listen. You have a lot on your plate.

Hugs

Beth Ann said...

You are far from a crybaby, my friend. That is a lot of stuff to deal with. I mean truly. I will keep you in my prayers.

Just take one thing at a time and focus on the fact that you do all you do to be healthier. If you hadn't done everything up to this point, you would be much worse off. You are a fighter and you are awesome!

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

You poor thing! I would definitely have gone for the candy bar too! My brother had to have shoulder surgery last spring, he tore everything that held his shoulder together loose in an accident. The recovery was not fun....but he only missed about 2 weeks of work and after 2 months he was much, much better. He is like new now. You can get through this, and if anyone can rehab with swimming, it will be you! Hang in there honey!

Stacey said...

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this.

Sandy said...

Sorry I am so late with my comment. I feel for you and sorry you are going thru this. My hubby had the same tears in both shoulders and had surgery in both (not at the same time). He is a weight lifter now although it took a lot out of him not to use his arms for 6 months. How about trying the recumbent bike? I hate the bike but some really like it or water aerobics but not use your shoulders too much. Anyway, right now don't think about it. Just absorb the news and have a glass of wine. I am also sorry about your hubby's job. When it rains it pours so hope all works out well. Thinking of you.

Jacquie said...

So sorry you are going through all this! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay away from candy bars...they will only make you feel worse! We are always here!

Ronnie said...

I'm sorry to hear this, sweetie. I know you'll find some type of exercise you like just as much... something low-to-no impact for your knees. :( There has to be something.